one mo blog

I start my new job next week.  It’s an exciting place to be.  This might be the last full-time job I ever hold.  I’m only 29, so I doubt it, but Jenny and I were talking the other day about how great it would be to find a home and settle down for the next 30~ish years.  We’ll see.

However, I’m also a bit bummed.  For the last 4 years I have had the privilege few other fathers get in today’s world:  I have had the chance to spend the majority of my time at home with my children, and it has been wonderful.  Just now, as I’m writing this my second daughter toddled up to me, gave me a big hug, and then went back to her play.  Sure, over most of these past 4 years I’ve worked as well, and have been a full time student.  However, I always considered my primary job to be taking care of the day-to-day duties of raising my children.  I guess you could call me a stay-at-home dad.

I’ve taken on this tag a bit reluctantly.  It comes with a lot of baggage and in some cases disdain in conservative christian circles.  Men who don’t work full-time to make sure their wife can stay at home with the kids are sometimes seen as lazy, or not performing their duties as a husband, father, man and christian.  What I’ve learned over the past four years is that sometimes “providing” for our families means doing what is best to take care of them, even if it means putting our own ego’s to the side.

You see, for us, Jenny staying home has always been the “preferred” way of living.  I think women are just built to take care of their kids.  Over the past four years this has been highlighted to me in a number of ways, but mostly by a general sense of restlessness I feel by being at home.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done a good job,  Jenny is just a more gifted homemaker than I am, and I think this is a natural thing.  Men, it seems are driven more to produce, to work, to provide, and not being able to do that was more than frustrating at times.  We even had a plan to make that happen.

When we moved back to Baltimore my plan was to work in a sales job that I hoped would provide enough money to take care of my family, and afford me the opportunity to also work part time at Metanoia.  About the time Cayla was born everything was looking good.  My sales numbers were going up, and for a couple months there I actually made more than my wife did as a teacher with a graduate degree.  We hoped that if things kept going well that Jenny would only have to work for one more year as a teacher after Cayla was born.  But then some new government regulations that favored big business in the industry I was working in came into effect and it quickly became apparent that I was not going to make enough money for our plan to work.  Unfortunately, with only a bachelors degree in U.S. History, and my only real full-time work experience in youth ministry it became clear by a quick once over of the classifieds that I wasn’t going to find a new job that would make enough for Jenny to stay home.

So, we created plan “B” and I started grad school.  It was something I had thought about doing for a while, and counseling was always something I was drawn to.  I had even started a grad program in Salisbury, but stopped after on semester for a variety of reasons.  Now the plan was for me to get through Graduate school and find a counseling job that would pay enough that Jenny could stop working.

Plan “B” has paid off, and despite the poor economy God has provided the job for me that we have been praying for over the past two and a half years.  However, life has thrown us a curve ball again, and we have added three kids to our household over that time, the oldest is my 10 year old stepson.  This is wonderful news, but brings with it a necessary move to a bigger home in a better school district.  As you might guess, this probably means Jenny won’t be able to stop working after all.  This just highlights the point I’m trying to make: Sometimes, “providing” for your family doesn’t mean living the ideal life of dad at work and mom at home with the kids.  Sometimes, “providing” means doing what you need to in order to take care of your family in the best way possible.  Just a thought that I think is even more pertinent as we continue in this time of economic uncertainty.

Life Children

Mark your calendars. Yesterday was a big day in the life of the Otto family. I chose a job. I’ve had the offer on the table for a few days, but there was one more interview I wanted to take to see if it might be a better fit for me and the fam. It wasn’t. It’s exciting, because I really feel like this decision is the beginning of the transition of me and my family from my student-counseling time to my professional counseling career. It marks the decision not only for where I am going to work for the foreseeable future, but also where our family will settle and live…well, probably until Jenny and I retire!

Obviously this is a huge decision, but Jenny and I really feel like God is calling us to settle some place for the long haul for the health of our family. It means making some sacrifices, changing some things that we are not quite ready to change, but in the long run I think we will be able to take much better care of our children.

More is coming soon.

Family, Life Children, Counseling

Jenny and I watched Bill Cosby Himself over the weekend. It’s on-demand free on Comcast. I had a couple thoughts about it:

I’ve always thought this was a really funny stand-up routine, but it’s SOOOO much funnier when you have kids.

Kids really do have brain damage.

that’s all

Family Children, Funny

Cayla peed in the bathtub last night…at 1am. I’m just glad if she was going to pee in some random place because of a sleep induced stupor that she was kind enough to make it the tub; easy to clean. I’m also impressed she managed to climb into the tub without waking herself up.

The upcoming National Counselor Exam (NCE) is ruining my video game life. All the extra time I would have beyond studying for classes that used to go to video games (which isn’t much) is now going to cramming for the 200 question test that will determine my license status in Maryland. No pressure. I take the test on April 18th.

There has been some major movement on the job front this week, but I hesitate to post anything online until I have made a firm decision about what I’m doing (in other words signed a contract). Look for something in two to three weeks.  Big thanks to everyone has been praying for us.

Mia is doing great, but she likes to sleep all day and stay up all night.  Jenny and I  (and especially Jenny) are two tired puppies.

Thats all. Thanks for checking in. I probably won’t post much until after the 18th.  After that I’m hoping to get back into a more regular blogging routine, hopefully three times a week.

Life Add new tag, Children, Counseling, Grad School

Hey folks,

It’s Sunday afternoon and the family and I are enjoying our first full day at home together. Mia and Mommy are upstairs sleeping and taking care of each other, and I’m downstairs with the other kids watching basketball and playing. It’s a nice, fun, chill day.

I just thought I’d check in to say thanks for your thoughts and prayers the past few days. We’re all doing very well and starting to get back to normal.

BTW: I have updated my flickr account with pics of Mia. They are bookmarked for friends and family only, so make sure you send a friend request if you want to see them.

Family Baby, Children

Jenny and I would like to introduce you all to Mia Elizabeth Otto. She was born yesterday (a St. Patrick’s Day baby) at 9:33 AM, and weighed in at 7lbs 13 oz.

Mommy and baby are both doing great. Jenny is recovering much better this time than the last two. Zach, Cayla and Emma are all elated, especially Cayla, who has been doting over her every minute they have been together.

Family Baby, Children

Cayla and I were talking about how great God is today and she said:

“God knows what is best for us, just like papa smurf.”

I think maybe we need to cut back on the TV.

Family Children, Weekly Quote

So, we’re sitting around doing something the other day and Cayla asks me:

Daddy, where is Alice’s wonderland?

So I tried to be honest and told her that I didn’t know for sure, but I thought it was just pretend. She responded

No, I think it’s in Florida.

So there you go, you wondered why Florida was so weird, now you know.

Family Children, Weekly Quote

Cayla was finishing up her lunch a few minutes ago and I asked her what she wanted to do after luch while Emma takes a nap. She asked if she could go to the neighbors house to play with her friends, and I said sure. So Cayla replied:

Thank you daddy, you are a wonderful, loving man.

Jeeze, she is starting already. Can you imagine what she’s going to get away with if she pulls out lines like this when she’s a teenager. I’m in big trouble.

Family Add new tag, Children, Weekly Quote

In Sunday School this week my sister was teaching class about the Angel appearing to Mary and telling her she was going to have a baby.  They talked about how the Angel scared Mary, and my sister asked the kids what they were afraid of.  My daughters response:

I’m afraid of evil butterflies

Where does she come up with this stuff? Seriously?

Random Children, Weekly Quote