one mo blog

As the world is mourning the loss of some big stars this past week, my wife and I are mourning a couple more personal losses:

This past year Jenny taught a pretty remarkable kid, Vincent. I only hear about the students that my wife really likes, and the ones she really has trouble with, and I heard about this kid, for good reasons, more than once. You can read the details of the car accident that caused his death, and some anecdotes about his life in this article on the sun, but to call him an inspiration may be too mild. The Mount View community is much better for having known him, and it will be a significant loss.

Then over the weekend one of my professors and her 7 year old daughter were also killed in a car accident. Their story is here in the sun. She was an extremely accomplished counselor and professor who leaves behind her husband and 5 other daughters. She was one of those professors that I looked up to both as a counselor and as a parent and hoped that I could one day be where she was.

Both of these deaths have rocked my faith. It’s hard to consider these three people and not think of all they had to look forward to. It’s hard to think about them without thinking of the terrible grief that their communities and more importantly their families are feeling right now. It’s hard as a parent to think that these families are where we want to be, people we look up to as families doing it “right”, and not be upset about some seemingly pointless tragedy tearing that apart. It’s hard to know why God would allow such pointless tragedy.

Right now I’m having a tough time considering how God could turn this mourning into dancing. Maybe one day we’ll look back on Vincent and Dr. Murray and think about how special they were to our communities, and how much they taught us and thank God for the chance to know them.

Right now there is only confusion and mourning.

Please pray for the Woodward family and the Murray family.

Faith, Life

I start my new job next week.  It’s an exciting place to be.  This might be the last full-time job I ever hold.  I’m only 29, so I doubt it, but Jenny and I were talking the other day about how great it would be to find a home and settle down for the next 30~ish years.  We’ll see.

However, I’m also a bit bummed.  For the last 4 years I have had the privilege few other fathers get in today’s world:  I have had the chance to spend the majority of my time at home with my children, and it has been wonderful.  Just now, as I’m writing this my second daughter toddled up to me, gave me a big hug, and then went back to her play.  Sure, over most of these past 4 years I’ve worked as well, and have been a full time student.  However, I always considered my primary job to be taking care of the day-to-day duties of raising my children.  I guess you could call me a stay-at-home dad.

I’ve taken on this tag a bit reluctantly.  It comes with a lot of baggage and in some cases disdain in conservative christian circles.  Men who don’t work full-time to make sure their wife can stay at home with the kids are sometimes seen as lazy, or not performing their duties as a husband, father, man and christian.  What I’ve learned over the past four years is that sometimes “providing” for our families means doing what is best to take care of them, even if it means putting our own ego’s to the side.

You see, for us, Jenny staying home has always been the “preferred” way of living.  I think women are just built to take care of their kids.  Over the past four years this has been highlighted to me in a number of ways, but mostly by a general sense of restlessness I feel by being at home.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done a good job,  Jenny is just a more gifted homemaker than I am, and I think this is a natural thing.  Men, it seems are driven more to produce, to work, to provide, and not being able to do that was more than frustrating at times.  We even had a plan to make that happen.

When we moved back to Baltimore my plan was to work in a sales job that I hoped would provide enough money to take care of my family, and afford me the opportunity to also work part time at Metanoia.  About the time Cayla was born everything was looking good.  My sales numbers were going up, and for a couple months there I actually made more than my wife did as a teacher with a graduate degree.  We hoped that if things kept going well that Jenny would only have to work for one more year as a teacher after Cayla was born.  But then some new government regulations that favored big business in the industry I was working in came into effect and it quickly became apparent that I was not going to make enough money for our plan to work.  Unfortunately, with only a bachelors degree in U.S. History, and my only real full-time work experience in youth ministry it became clear by a quick once over of the classifieds that I wasn’t going to find a new job that would make enough for Jenny to stay home.

So, we created plan “B” and I started grad school.  It was something I had thought about doing for a while, and counseling was always something I was drawn to.  I had even started a grad program in Salisbury, but stopped after on semester for a variety of reasons.  Now the plan was for me to get through Graduate school and find a counseling job that would pay enough that Jenny could stop working.

Plan “B” has paid off, and despite the poor economy God has provided the job for me that we have been praying for over the past two and a half years.  However, life has thrown us a curve ball again, and we have added three kids to our household over that time, the oldest is my 10 year old stepson.  This is wonderful news, but brings with it a necessary move to a bigger home in a better school district.  As you might guess, this probably means Jenny won’t be able to stop working after all.  This just highlights the point I’m trying to make: Sometimes, “providing” for your family doesn’t mean living the ideal life of dad at work and mom at home with the kids.  Sometimes, “providing” means doing what you need to in order to take care of your family in the best way possible.  Just a thought that I think is even more pertinent as we continue in this time of economic uncertainty.

Life Children

I received a summons to serve on jury duty next month, about two weeks after I start the new job. I was able to change the date of my duty to be a week before I begin, so hopefully it won’t inconvenience me too much, but still, of all the times to get a summons it had to be now, in one of the busiest seasons of our lives.

Oh well, I feel pretty strong about fulfilling civic obligations.

Life

I left you hanging a couple weeks ago after talking about accepting a job offer.  I will be working at Vital Sources, a small private Christian counseling center in Frederick, Maryland.  I will be primarily working with adolescents and young adults providing counseling services.  In addition I will have/am hoping to have a number of other roles including assessment, and consulting for churches. 

I can’t say enough about how blessed I feel to have this job.  It is an incredible opportunity to start working full-time right away working with the client population I want to work with (adolescents).  Not to mention how wonderful my impression of the partners and other staff members has been, the encouragement that comes with working in a Christian clinic, and being able…no encouraged to work with churches in the area.  The whole process of applying and interviewing seemed to be a neon sign from God saying “this is the place for you and your family”.  

I start June 1st.  I wrapped up all my big papers last week, so for the next few weeks I get some much needed and earned down time with my family.  After that, if you know anyone who needs a counselor in the Frederick area give me a buzz.

Life Counseling

Mark your calendars. Yesterday was a big day in the life of the Otto family. I chose a job. I’ve had the offer on the table for a few days, but there was one more interview I wanted to take to see if it might be a better fit for me and the fam. It wasn’t. It’s exciting, because I really feel like this decision is the beginning of the transition of me and my family from my student-counseling time to my professional counseling career. It marks the decision not only for where I am going to work for the foreseeable future, but also where our family will settle and live…well, probably until Jenny and I retire!

Obviously this is a huge decision, but Jenny and I really feel like God is calling us to settle some place for the long haul for the health of our family. It means making some sacrifices, changing some things that we are not quite ready to change, but in the long run I think we will be able to take much better care of our children.

More is coming soon.

Family, Life Children, Counseling

Cayla peed in the bathtub last night…at 1am. I’m just glad if she was going to pee in some random place because of a sleep induced stupor that she was kind enough to make it the tub; easy to clean. I’m also impressed she managed to climb into the tub without waking herself up.

The upcoming National Counselor Exam (NCE) is ruining my video game life. All the extra time I would have beyond studying for classes that used to go to video games (which isn’t much) is now going to cramming for the 200 question test that will determine my license status in Maryland. No pressure. I take the test on April 18th.

There has been some major movement on the job front this week, but I hesitate to post anything online until I have made a firm decision about what I’m doing (in other words signed a contract). Look for something in two to three weeks.  Big thanks to everyone has been praying for us.

Mia is doing great, but she likes to sleep all day and stay up all night.  Jenny and I  (and especially Jenny) are two tired puppies.

Thats all. Thanks for checking in. I probably won’t post much until after the 18th.  After that I’m hoping to get back into a more regular blogging routine, hopefully three times a week.

Life Add new tag, Children, Counseling, Grad School

Ministry is a call.  The same, I believe, can be said about any job.  What has God called you to do?  What has he called me to do?

The problem I’m facing right now is where to do it.  I’m called to be a counselor.  I’m good at it.  I enjoy it. Best of all, I’m serving others.  Specifically, I’m called to counsel adolescents.  Oddly (to me) it’s a demographic that few of my classmates, and fewer counselors (percentage-wise) work with, but I love it.

So I found a job doing just that with adolescents, in a Christian clinic that pays well.  It’s my dream job really.  They want me, I want to be there.  Seems perfect right?

Problem is, I’d have to move.  A couple years ago that wouldn’t have seemed like such a big deal.  Now, moving means relocating my entire family, moving further away from the community, family and friends we have called our home.  Oh, and not to mention the market conditions that are awful for selling a house right now.

Now, we wouldn’t be moving to the other side of the country, we’d be moving about 45 minutes away, but still, it seems big to us at this point.

Don’t get me wrong, the community we would be moving to is a wonderful place.  It’s a place I could see myself raising a family and spending the rest of my life…which is something I can not say about where we are living now.

The question remains am I…are we called there?

I wish I could give a good answer.  I wish that I could say we all have burning bush moments all the time.  Truth is it just doesn’t happen that way…but maybe this time it does.

I’m writing as I think here, so bear with me.

Most of my classmates are having a hard time finding a job for after they graduate.  I, on the other hand, have had this job, a full-time job at a private Christian clinic practically handed to me on a sliver platter…if the bush isn’t burning it’s at least smoldering…a lot.

So why am I having trouble?

For the first time in my post-college life Jenny and I are surrounded (and I mean surrounded, like across the street surrounded) by wonderful couples, friends and family, who love us, protect us and care for us.  You can’t buy that kind of support with all the money in the world.  Taking this job would mean leaving all that and trying to build it again in a new community.

And that’s what it comes down to:  Are we called to reproduce this sense of community in a new place?

When I think about it that way, it makes sense.  What higher calling is there then to share the love of Christ, as we have felt it while on Circle Drive, with other communities?

Maybe that bush really is burning.  Maybe I’m just being like Moses and making excuses…but, but, but…I can’t speak well…but, but, but…I like living so close to my best friends (you know for the past 3 years three of my five groomsmen have lived within a 3 mile radius of my house, two of them within 50 yards, how many guys can say that!).  Whatever the case, this is a pretty big decision staring down at Jenny and I right now.  If you have the chance please lift us up in prayer over the next couple weeks asking God to give us discernment.

Thanks.

Faith, Life stress

I’m supposed to be finishing a paper right now, but I’m having some writers block.

Just thought I’d stop by and say sorry I haven’t been around much.  I do have a post coming from an experience today, but you’ll have to wait.  It’s been a busy couple weeks.  We’re trying to wrap up a bunch of loose ends before Mia is born next week.  I’ve got a couple papers to finish, and Zach, Cayla and I all have interviews this week!  Zach and Cayla for potential schools for next year and me for a potential job.  I’ll fill you in more later.

Life

The interview yesterday went very well. I don’t want to say much more than that online just yet, but I’m hopeful. I’ll be going back for a second interview sometime before the baby comes. Wouldn’t it be cool if I had a job offer before Mia arrives?

Life

Remember that job I mentioned a couple weeks ago that seemed perfect? I’ll have a face to face interview tomorrow afternoon!

I’m trying not to be too excited, but every step along the way they have gotten back to me the same day whenever I have sent them any information.

We’ll see what happens tomorrow, but this could be a major changing point for me and my family.

In related news Adam has his last day rosting coffee this week.  I don’t know what this means for him in the future, but I imagine God has something in mind for him that will allow him to serve the Ellicott City and Metanoia community in an exciting new way that is more in line with the growth that has happened there recently.  I find it very amusing that God has us both transitioning into these new roles that better reflect where He is leading us around the same time.

Life Counseling